It has been that kind of week

"Other people can do this so much better than we can!" These were the words spewed out to my husband tonight in a moment of frustration, followed by the pictures in my mind of kind, loving families who respond to difficulty with soft gentle touches, clean dishes, and laundry that is always folded.

It has been that kind of week. Sweet M and I started the week sick, he stayed sick all week, then P followed, and now David is sick. And I am preparing for a new class that I am teaching at Warner Pacific, that I just do not feel prepared for. AND despite our best efforts we cannot get M to sleep longer than a few hours at a time. I tend to tackle problems with a "let's figure this out" attitude. This has included: baby massage, baby wearing, sleeping together on the couch, making sure he has a full tummy before going to bed, more blankets, less blankets, warmer PJs, cooler PJs, water at night, something to chew on, an evaluation by an OT, lavender on his feet at night... The only thing that I have not tried is the, "just let him cry it out" method. And while I can hear the words of some dear friends, my heart cannot go there for this little one who has been through so much.

So, here we are after the end of a difficult week at the start of another sleep deprived one. I long to find the "magic" sleep pill, but I know that is not likely to pop up. In the meantime, I find consolation in the truth that I am mom. I will and do make mistakes. I do get frustrated. I do yell. Sigh. I do often compare myself to the perfect pictures of others that I have in my mind. I do love my children so much.

Tonight in my sleep deprived, anxious mind I find comfort in knowing that others do understand, and a reminder the Father holds us all in His arms. He loves and does not hold back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ea9uy6Mngk