Vision

I have been thinking a lot about vision lately.  As I sit here in my living room looking at the garden just freshly planted full of wee plants, I wonder will it really grow?  Will I really get to eat fresh veggies in a few months?  Then just a door away from me my almost 10 year old little girl, or should I say young lady.. is settling in for the evening, and yes, I wonder much the same.  Where will the years take her... or if I am more honest, where will this day take her. :)  You know it is funny, I consider myself a visionary in many ways.  It is often much easier for me to see far ahead than it is for me to focus in on all that is required in the day to day to get there.  Since I have entered into this journey of momhood, I am realizing just how much day to day work it takes.  I am not sure that I understood anxiety until I became a mom, but in much the same token I am understanding faith in a much deeper way!  Daily I am reminding myself that it is not my roll to bring healing to Paige.  Honestly, I must remind myself of this every day, as it is my tendency to try to control things far beyond my control.

The last few months have stretched my abilities in ways that I simply did not think possible.  In February it became obvious that Paige could not continue attending the school that I had her enrolled in.  So, after much talking I decided that I needed to bring her home.  Who would have thought!  And how?  Fortunately, I work out of my home so it is possible to have Paige work alongside me.  We have also plugged into a homeschooling community here in Portland where she can take classes.  And she is taking piano lessons.. and Girl Scouts.. .and starting tomorrow 4-H.  Most importantly she is feeling good about who she is rather than feeling like she is bad every day.

Me?  Well.. it is hard.  I often wonder if it is the right thing to do. I worry that things are going to be "alright".  I long for "normal".  And yet.. there are daily reminders that God is at work.  Daily evidences of confidence in areas (for both of us) that were not there just a few months ago.  

Back to that idea of vision.  I must remind myself that it is not about simply getting through today, but rather moving into all of the tomorrows that He has in store for us.  I have been playing around on Facebook lately, and am amazed to see children I used to take care now grown into young adults wrestling with all that life has in store for them.  No, life does not stop or even slow down but as we treasure each moment it is amazing to see what our Father has in store.

I know this is a journey worth taking, even if I have to remind myself of that some days. 

Blessings to you today!